I Need You!

Well butter me up and call me a biscuit, it’s been a whole freaking year since I started old bloggy here.

Seeing as I’ve been providing you all with such hilarious and thought provoking content once a week(ish) for a full 12 months, I wanted to know – Is there anything you’d like to ask me?

So the comment section on this post (and all other posts) is anonymous. You don’t have to be a member of WordPress to comment, so please feel free to ask whatever your heart desires.  If you don’t mind letting me know your name, you can also get in touch via various social media platforms (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter).

This could be a complete flop and/or total nightmare, but I mean it when I say; Ask me anything.  Dirty, clean, embarrassing, controversial, political, ethical, stupid, intellectual… Other various adjectives – I will answer them.

Next week’s blog is up to you.

Relationship Problems.

Whether or not you read my blogs regularly, if you know me, you’ll know I love my Boyfriend a lot.  It’s no secret that I  think he’s The One  (I definitely do not ask him once a month when he’s going to pop the question) because he’s my best friend and buys me crisps in the shop.

This being said, sometimes, I want to take a pointy knife and just stab him right in the gut over and over until he’s lying motionless on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

Honestly, these times are few and far between but some of the shit he does just drives me up the fucking wall.

For the purposes of research, I asked him to write something about me which annoyed him, but he didn’t get round to it so you snooze you lose, G.

I’m slightly embarrassed about this one, but it drives me mental when he goes out with his mates and doesn’t text me.  We have had so many arguments about this.  I never thought I would be the girlfriend who was obsessed about her partner’s whereabouts, but why can’t he just say; ‘Yo babe, heading to another pub.’  Or; ‘It’s gonna be a late one!  I’ll text when I’m home!’ Or even; ‘dsngrwiu94 hdrunknkk iloveuzxccc.’ But no.  Nothing.  This is especially worse when I’m in work and have nothing to do.  I know he’s not doing anything sinister – But he’s not thinking of me and that pisses me off.

Another thing which annoys the crap clean out of me is when he does housework.  It’s not him actually cleaning the house, but the way he does it.  I like the house being clean and I appreciate everything he does, but when he’s cleaning, he turns into Grumpy Cunt McGee.  He’ll say he isn’t, but his face says it all.  He’ll do the dishes really loudly, he’ll bang cupboards and doors.  He’ll whack the hoover or mop off the skir
ting.  It doesn’t make me want to help you Gareth, you’re clearly not having fun.

He can never remember where anything is.  Like.  Nothing.  He’ll swear till he’s blue in the face that I had something last, until I find it and he’s like “Oh yeah I did put it there…”

He farts and they SMELL SO BAD.  I know this is natural, and it shouldn’t make me mad, but I get so angry when he farts in bed.  Then wafts the blanket.  Normally in the morning I’ve just got off work so I’m having breakfast/dinner in bed beside him, and it ruins my food experience.

On the other side of the coin, imagine living with someone like me. I rarely do housework. I feel like I deserve a medal if I hoover.  In the two years of living with Gareth, I’ve mopped the floor twice.  I get home from work and throw my clothes on the floor.  I leave shoes wherever the fuck I desire. My makeup is all over the floor despite Gareth putting it in boxes. There’s bobby pins everywhere.  I stick my hair on the wall when I shower. I leave dishes everywhere – Even IN bed.  I don’t fold my clothes.  I don’t make the bed.  I don’t wipe the counters.  I don’t pick up dog shit outside.  I need constant attention.  I talk shit about myself. I don’t know how to put on the electric and always leave the heating on.

Despite all these things – and this overrides all the stuff that makes me angry – He’s the best person I’ve ever met and I know he loves me, even if I forget it sometimes.  I know he’s reading this so; Gar, I love you too.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and he doesn’t let me squeeze his spots.

Mega Meatballs.

Despite being a vegetarian for the past six years, I’ve never been squeamish when it comes to preparing meat. None of my family are vegetarians, for me it’s just a lifestyle I chose and stuck to. I’ll never be one to preach, but would recommend trying to be a vegetarian for at least one day a week. You might surprise yourself.

This recipie however, does contain chorizo and minced beef, so maybe try to go meat free tomorrow…
I made this a few weeks ago for Boyfriends dinner. Taste wise he would totally recommend it; 

“These are the best meatballs I’ve ever had!”

– Gareth McGivern, November 2015

So for the sauce;

1 large diced onion

2 cloves of garlic

Chorizo (as much as you like, it melts down anyway and provides flavour)

1 red pepper

2 tins of chopped tomatoes

Some fresh or dried basil

Lots of black pepper

A large pinch of salt and equal that of sugar

Method;

Start by frying your onions, red pepper and garlic in some olive oil over a medium heat. Your pan should be a decent size and have a lid- it’s going into the oven later.

Once your vegetables are soft, add in your chorizo and sauté that for a while until the oil turns a sexy red colour. Add in your tomatoes and bring up to a gentle simmer, stirring often. Turn the heat down if you think it’s simmering a bit too vigorously.

Add in the rest of your ingredients and turn down to a low heat. Put the lid on, wash your hands, and get ready to make meatballs.

For the meatballs;

1lb of beef mince (or any mean I suppose)

Small amount of chopped chorizo

1 clove of garlic

2 slices of wheaten bread, smashed into breadcrumbs

2 eggs

Rosemary

Celery salt (or regular salt)

Big pinch of black pepper

Method;

Chuck all this in a bowl and mix. It’s easiest if you use your hands, though some people may prefare to use gloves (the disposable ones- not the yellow rubber ones under the sink).

Once throughly mixed, cover with cling film or tin foil or whatever and put in the fridge for at least 30 mins. This sets the mixture and ensures the ball doesn’t fall apart. Keep an eye on your sauce but it should be fine. Low and slow is the way.

Put your oven on to about 150 Celsius.

Shape your meatballs using your hands. Make them any size you want, but I made mine rather large because I thought it would be funny to serve boyfriend two big balls for dinner.

Fry your balls off in a pan. This isn’t really to cook them, but it gives them a nice colour and seals them further. Once they’re all brown, carefully put them into your bit pot o’ sauce.

Put your big pot into the oven and turn it down to about 100 celcius.

Leave it in the oven for around 3 hours. The longer it sits, the tastier it is.

Serve with pasta of your choice, in a baguette or if you’re really hungry, just eat them out of the pot
Let me know if your tried them, and how it went if you did!