Well butter me up and call me a biscuit, it’s been a whole freaking year since I started old bloggy here.
Seeing as I’ve been providing you all with such hilarious and thought provoking content once a week(ish) for a full 12 months, I wanted to know – Is there anything you’d like to ask me?
So the comment section on this post (and all other posts) is anonymous. You don’t have to be a member of WordPress to comment, so please feel free to ask whatever your heart desires. If you don’t mind letting me know your name, you can also get in touch via various social media platforms (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter).
This could be a complete flop and/or total nightmare, but I mean it when I say; Ask me anything. Dirty, clean, embarrassing, controversial, political, ethical, stupid, intellectual… Other various adjectives – I will answer them.
Avocados need to leave. Stop being pretentious, creamy, disgusting mush. You’re not a substitute for butter, you’re not good with eggs, you feel weird in my mouth, you’re only ever over or under ripe, and you have to go.
Zoos need to leave. Ever went to a zoo as an adult and felt happy? Maybe it’s because I’ve been researching veganism (and they’re all pretty mental), but lately, I can’t ever imagine why I ever enjoyed a zoo. If people think animals don’t have emotions, go to a zoo. These are creatures in environments that they were never supposed to be in. And for those who say – ‘They don’t know any better’ – Maybe they don’t, but why does that matter? Zoos need to leave.
Ghosts need to leave. They need to leave reality. Ghosts don’t exist. They exist in movies, but in real life, ghosts are born from over active imaginations and tricks of the eye. A ghost is not going to visit me and tell me I’m wrong about this. Buildings are not haunted, the dead don’t leave their spirit behind, a Physic can’t tell your future and angels aren’t watching you.
Donald Trump needs to leave. That blonde-haired, racist, homophobic, chauvinistic, idiotic, money grabbing, small minded pig of a man not only needs to leave, he needs to get the fuck out. I’m not interested in his politics or policies, or his self-absorbed idea to “make America great again”, he is a backwards thinking piece of shit that needs to pack up his things and leave.
Money needs to leave. Money is like the person who comes into your house and doesn’t take off their coat or sit down because they don’t wanna stay too long. I’ve had enough of it. I either have loads of it for a second, or none of it for a year, and either way I’m not happy. The past year I have spent struggling to make it to the end of the month, constantly having to borrow off my fiancé (hehehe that’s the first time I’ve referred to him as fiancé) or my parents, and it makes me feel really scummy. Yes, I could be better at spending but I really love make-up, drinking and food. Money needs to come in and sit down and leave when I tell it to.
Decisions need to leave. I am officially the worst person ever at making a decision. How am I going to go about planning a wedding? I’m so afraid of offending someone or someone disagreeing with me, that I’d rather just not try at all. The one decision I’ve made about the wedding so far? I’m definitely marrying Gareth. And there will be no avocados served, no animals exploited, no ghosts, no Donald Trump and no money spent.
Just kidding, there is going to be so much money spent.
This is a great time to do a favourites blog, seeing as the end of last month was my very happy birthday and I received a number of thoughtful gifts.
If you don’t know me, there are two things I love most in the world. Heat and makeup. It took 24 years, but everyone who bought me something has realised this and purchased accordingly.
First up is something I asked for. A while back, I watched a couple of YouTube videos on Too Faced products, so casually (not that casually) asked Boyfriend could he perhaps consider them when thinking of what to get me. Boy did good! I ended up getting the eye-shadow ‘Chocolate’ Pallet AND the ‘Better than Sex’ mascara. I’ve never owned any Too Faced products before but had never heard a bad review of them, and I can now see why. I can’t review the Chocolate Pallet without first saying; it smells like chocolate. I’ve never come across a product like this (definitely not eye-shadow) and although there’s no real practicality to this, it does make doing your eye make-up extra special. The colours are perfect for me, having recently dyed my hair a darker brown (thanksCaroline&Nicola) I’ve found I definitely suit a smoky brown eye rather than my standard smoky black one. Colours range from dusty pink called Champagne Truffle to dark grey/brown called Triple Fudge, with matt and shimmer finishes, I think this product has everything, the one downside being it’s not as pigmented as I would like (in comparison to Urban Decay) but that doesn’t matter much because…. Well it smells like Chocolate….
The ‘Better than Sex’ mascara – despite the name making me slightly uncomfortable – Is amazing. Two coats and your eye lashes are thick, long and damn impressive. I was a little underwhelmed by the wand shape – It looked pretty basic, but in the end this didn’t matter. I always put my mascara on last because I feel it makes the biggest difference to my makeup look, putting this on was a dream. It sets everything off perfectly, and when applied correctly, reduces the need for eyeliner (yay!)
Next in my little list was my new coat. As I mentioned earlier, I love heat and being warm, and on my birthday I received two jumpers, a hat and gloves, a pair of slippers and a new winter coat. Although my slippers were close to making my favourites list, they just missed out due to the masterpiece that is my coat. Purchased by my Mum and made by ‘Rock Experience’, I have to admit it’s not the most attractive of coats. It’s puffy, blue and kind of a shell-suit material (bring back the 90s!) and I do feel slightly inflated when I wear it, but it is warmandthat’s all that matters. I first wore it to take Barney to the park at the start of November, and I mistakenly put a jumper on underneath. After heating up to boiling point, I ended up having to carry both the jumper and the coat, so I was just in my t-shirt. It is extremely rare for me to be outside in a t-shirt after 31st August, but it was pretty pleasant cooling down in Botanic and at least I know now; the coat works. As I work night-shift, I walk to work at night time and from work in the morning (the chilliest times) so this coat is now my life. The ONLY thing I don’t like about this coat – because I’m strange as fuck – I worry that people will see me wearing it too often and think “Why does she always wear that blue coat?” I have other coats; just none of them are a wearable sleeping bag, OK?
Next up is a program I’ve been obsessively watching every free waking minute of the past few weeks. I first started watching ‘The Killing’ on Netflix because I had seen the original Danish series about 5 years ago, which really stuck with me. It’s rare that I’d watch a series twice (if at all), but there was something about this one I just needed to experience again. After watching everything the BBC had to offer I thought I’d give the Americanised adaptation a go. At the beginning I wasn’t that impressed; the American version was almost identical to the Danish, so similar it seemed lazy. When I noted that it was made by the same writers as ‘Forbrydelsen’ (Dutch for The Crime) I paid a bit more attention and ended up getting it in a major way. Set in the extremely drizzly Seattle, instead of extremely drizzly Copenhagen, the first two seasons of both series was about finding who brutally murdered a young girl by the name of Rosie Larson. Those in charge of the investigation are detectives Sarah Linden (Mireille Enos) and Stephen Holder (Joel Kinnaman). Normally I hate when a murder is dragged out, but in this series it was totally believable. Almost done in real time (day by day) you’re fed the clues at the same pace as the detectives, and there’s something really satisfying about this. Watching it gave me a strange respect for police and the justice system, despite it being fictional. The series ultimately focuses on D.I Linden, but her new partner D.I Holder brings a witty, grimy edge to the show. Regardless of having completely opposite personalities, they make an admirable on-screen duo, complementing each other in qualities the other may lack. Holder is, by far, one of my favourite televised characters, and his persona goes from strength to strength in each episode, coming to par in the third series; as if he was a real detective, developing his character with the experiences of his past. This programme is graphic in more ways than one, which I understand not everyone wants, but it is truly gratifying to watch. Pay attention though, take your eyes off the screen for more than ten minutes and you’re lost.
Lastly last on my list (apologies in advance) is CHRISTMAS!
Actually, no apologies, I love Christmas. Everyone had made the joke that as soon as October 31st was over it would be Christmas Land, and they were not wrong. It was like a wonderful, glittery Christmas bomb had gone off on TV. I’ve already purchased a sneaky amount of adorable decorations from T.K Maxx, but it won’t feel like proper Christmas till the tree is up (soon…) The Continental Christmas Market arrives in Belfast on Saturday, and if you’ve never been, put it on your to-do list. Even the Grinch would enjoy this event. I recommend experimenting with different flavours of mulled cider and the sweet potato fries, Boyfriend would recommend fifteen Bratwursts, ten Steins and a burger (vegetarian options are available). It can be expensive, but ’tis the season to be jolly, so as I like to say; “fa la la la la la la la fuck it”.
will be no avocados served, no animals exploited, no ghosts, no Donald Trump and no money spent.
mollysbook 